Helga's Confession
by Anonymous Latino
Summary: Helga overhears the gang and her new friend Rodrigo talking about her. It sounds serious. Curiously, she steps closer to listen in on their conversation...
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! this is my first fanfict story. As the story progress, there will be stops in between with a summary. I know this can be annoying, but it is necessary in order for everyone to get an understanding of the situation that is taking place.**

**Please note: I do not own any of the Hey Arnold characters and series.**

**The story takes place during the Patakis spinoff that was never brought to light. Before entering high school, Arnold moves away from Hilwood. By their 11th grade year, a new kid has started his class at Highwood High. His name is Rodrigo, a Latino with an uncharacteristic personality who befriends everyone, including none other than Helga Pataki. It becomes apparent to everyone that since the start of their friendship, Helga has slowly been coming out of her destitute shell, coming to grips with living a life without her beloved football head. But what happens and she overhears them talking about her?**

**In addition, I am currently writing a prequel to this story, called Helga's Transference. It takes places months before this story and it covers the friendship between Rodrigo and Helga. Go check it out!**

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Chapter 1

It has been a long and cold winter. It is now the beginning of March and only now the snow has just started to melt. through the whole week, it was constantly snowing, cloudy and sometimes foggy, bringing an aura or deep melancholy throughout the city. People struggled to get to work through the deep snow; children often had to stay home because of the school bus' inability to reach their stop and take them to school. For the teenagers attending Hilwood High school, it was a struggle as well, to get to class. some had to carpool because of their friends' parents' car being more able to get around in the snow. Others made no effort to even get up, agonizing over the dreadful weather that they had to ensure, should they venture out. It was one of those winters that has overstayed its welcome and everyone was relieved that see that spring was just around the corner.

Rodrigo and Helga have just ended their dancing lessons together and are now starting to clean up the gym that the last class used before the end of the school day. They have arranged with the teacher of this last class that they can use the gym, on the condition that they clean up after the mess her class made. It was a small price to pay, but well worth it as they are able to use the gym for as long as they wished.

Much has changed since September when Rodrigo first stepped into the halls of Hilwood High, yet he remembers it like it was yesterday. As he was cleaning up the balls and chairs left in the wake of the last class, he couldn't help but stare at his closest friend and dancing partner Helga Pataki, who just months prior would show threatening hostility and apprehension towards him, was now confidently close to him as any friend would be. He was one of the people, aside from Arnold and Phoebe, who was able to become friends with this person, a girl known for her short temper, sarcastic remarks and a grin that would often confuse people if whether she was being flirty or threatening them. That is the thing about Helga, she would always keep you on your toes, would constantly test you to see if you would fail to meet her standards and boy were they high! Few ever met them, but Rodrigo was one of the few.

Rodrigo's personality had a lot to do with this. Like Arnold, he was known to be a very patient and sympathetic person towards other people's problems and would always give out a helping hand. He was very observant and a good listener, a trait well suited to deal with someone like Helga. However, he also encompassed Helga's assertive and independent personality traits. He can be very patient and sympathetic in one situation, but contrary in others. Additionally, he can be diplomatic, charming and cunning, but also direct and assertive, if not aggressive if need be. Although a joking kind of person, he was known for having serious and deep conversations when the situation called for it.

His appearance can also be given credit. Although roughly the same height as Helga, he always wore a black fedora hat, had jeans that were sometimes ripped on the sides or knees, with a shirt that was either a simple color or would sometimes had colour patterns, depending on his mood. If he wanted to look more 'sophisticated', he would sometimes wear a bright coloured polo shirt.

In sum, Rodrigo was the type of person that had an...active and dualistic personality, but it was not too much that would overwhelm or annoy those around him. For Helga, he was fun to be around with, but never enough to irritate her.

Helga's appearance has changed over the years. While no longer wearing a pink dress, she wore a big blue cap that covered head, hiding her pink ribbon that she refuses to part with; a reminder of Arnold. Tonight she was a pink lighter sweater with blue jeans and white shoes. She was thin, but not enough to be anorexic. She had curves that she has put to good use during her dancing lessons, all while still retaining her famous unibrow.

It was now 6pm when they ended their dancing lessons and both were annoyed at the mess that they now have to clean up. As Rodrigo was cleaning up he could not help but wonder just what kind of class was here. He could not tell if the last class was practicing a particular sport or playing musical chairs.

"Ugh! I hate cleaning up after these losers. What kind of gym class uses chairs to play sports?!" Helga asked.

Rodrigo laughed. "My thoughts exactly Helga. I was actually trying to guess the class that was here. And I hear ya, but it was part of the deal with Mrs. Henderson to use the gym so unfortunately we gotta do this".

"Ya ya whatever Latino boy". Helga remarked.

It was now 6:30pm and they had mostly cleaned up the gym. They were now just stacking the chairs and putting them in the closest that was just outside the hallway. As they were stacking them, Rodrigo called out,

"Helga, just stack them close to the doorway and let me put them in the closet. I just want to run by my locker and put my cd's and radio there so I don't forget them like last time."

"Whatever floats your boats, just don't leave me here carrying these chairs on my own like last time, got it?" Helga warned.

"Nah, I won't. I got off easy last time, I know that I will not be given a second chance," replied Rodrigo with a smirk on his face.

Helga returned with her own smirk, then carried on with her duties.

_She is soo cute when she smiles_, Rodrigo thought. _She needs to learn to smile more._

Rodrigo grabbed his stuff and started walking towards his locker, which was only just around the corner from the gym entrance. As he approached his locker, he heard some commotion around the corner.

_Why are there still people here at this time?_, he thought to himself.

As he walked around he saw that it was only Gerald and everyone else still lingering down the hallway.

_Well this is a rare occurrence_, Rodrigo thought. _I know that it was football practice today and the guys would be here, but why are Phoebe, Rhonda, Lila, Sheena and Nadine here as well?_

Although not by choice, he walked towards his locker to put his stuff away and ask them why they were still here.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The Gang did not notice Rodrigo approaching them until he called out to them.

"Yo Gerald, everyone what's up guys? You guys done practicing for today?" Rodrigo asked, ready to greet them.

Gerald turned around and greeted Rodrigo first.

"My man, ya we just finished practice and we were just talking on what to do, seeing as how it is Friday night and all. Luckily everyone is here today, including you so perhaps you can enlighten us on what we can do tonight?" Gerald asked.

Gerald had also changed over the years. His afro hair was now rather short, but not too short. He became more muscular and taller as the years went by, mostly due to him becoming more involved into sports. He was taller than Rodrigo. By all accounts, he was a rather handsome guy that attracted a lot of girls to his side. Yet, there was only one girl that he liked and was currently dating, and that was Phoebe.

"I got no clue man. I have been practicing a lot with Helga this whole week, in preparation for the dancing performance for the school that is taking place in two weeks, that I completely forgot that it was Friday today." Rodrigo replied.

"Helga is still here?" Gerald asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ya, she is finishing up so we are almost done cleaning up." replied Rodrigo.

"How is Helga doing Rodrigo? I am ever so excited to see your performance with her. I am sure it will be excellent." Lila asked.

"She has been doing great Lila. Sure, she started off moving like an ironing board, but she was able to develop her own moves and rhythm faster than I thought she would have. So I am very happy with her progress" replied Rodrigo. "But don't tell her I said that, otherwise she would crucify me." Rodrigo said with a lower voice.

Lilia simply giggled and nodded.

Rodrigo went up to his locker and started putting his stuff away when Gerald asked him,

"But how has Helga doing in _general?_" he asked.

Rather surprised by his sudden interest in Helga, he replied, "A lot better than when I first came here. My recommendation for her to taking dancing lessons, specifically salsa, merengue and cumbia, has helped her a lot. She has a lot of...passion and I think this was a good way for her to let it out."

"Well that is good hear. I am glad that you are here to help her out." said Gerald genuinely.

"Thanks Gerald." Rodrigo said, just as he was closing his locker. But then he continued with a rather sad tone, "I just wish that with her progress, your relationship with her would have improved, not remain stagnant."

It was no secret to everyone that Helga was not Gerald's favourite person, not evening making it at the bottom row of his list.

Since their adventure in San Lorenzo and with finding Arnold's parents and finally coming to terms with his own feelings towards Helga, their relationship began to show some improvement. Although Gerald was willing to forget all the cruel and misdeeds that Helga inflicted upon Gerald and especially Arnold over the years, he still has not forgiven her. From time to time, even up to the present, he would often remind her of them whenever she either annoyed or upset him.

Although he never understood just how Arnold came to like Helga after what she did to him, even if it was for love, he came to accept it, especially after what she did for Arnold's parents, and started to accept Helga as part of the group, albeit from a distance. For Helga's part, she also made an attempt to improve her relationship with Gerald, although it also had some limitations.

After a while, it became clear that they never be able to completely seal this animosity towards each other, and both ended up developing an unspoken agreement that they would do their best to be civil with each other, for both Arnold's and Phoebe's sake.

Gerald's biggest frustration with Helga was that he was never able to be himself around her. Almost anything that came from his mouth, Helga would use it against him, as if she was looking for a fight. Often times he would just ignore her, or even compliment her when appropriate. And there were even times, although rarely, when they enjoyed each other's company and would even laugh between themselves. However, often times she got on his lest nerve and arguments would ensue.

As time moved on, Gerald became more aware of Helga's problems at home, but the information that came to him was rather vague. Only Arnold and Phoebe, and later Rodrigo, knew the full extent of the neglect that Helga was experiencing and Helga would carefully ensure that little, if any information would leak out. Whatever information he did receive from Arnold and Phoebe would only be enough for him to know that she has been facing serious issues at home, but details were always left out, even when Gerald pressed them both to speak up.

Finally, Gerald got the nerve to go up to Helga and ask her directly about her situation. Needless to say things...did not go well. Despite his promise to not tell anyone, Helga exploded and threatened him to never ask him about her personal issues. Incredibly, Gerald did not back down and assured her that he was only asking in order to get to know her more and to see if he can help. Helga did not take this gesture kindly and a fight almost ensued between them. Only by their friends intervention was a fight prevented.

For Helga, she knew that she was not Gerald's favourite and she knew that he did not completely agree with her and Arnold being together. She felt that every time he looked at her, he judged her for past behaviour; always ready on the lookout for any of her past misgivings and bad behaviour to emerge. Gerald did not seem willing to let bygones be bygones and always returned to the past to haunt her.

She came to slowly trust him more, but never enough for her spill the beans of her home life or anything else. She did not feel that he was mature enough to see past her tough exterior traits and to see another side of her, like how Arnold, Phoebe and Rodrigo had. As far she was concerned, he did not pass her test.

To make matters even worse, Helga was envious of Gerald and Phoebe's relationship. While their relationship was calm and sweet, with rarely any arguments coming about, her relationship with Arnold was rather...passionate, if not somewhat rocky. A lot of debates would ensue between them, with their personalities often clashing. While no breakups ensued, there were times when days would go by without any of them speaking to each other, resulting in Gerald and Phoebe sometimes acting as their guardians to ensure their relationships continued.

Helga's and Gerald's relationship reached a new low when Arnold moved away from Hilwood. On Arnold's last day, a party was held at the boarding house to him wish him well. Everyone showed up to bid him farewell, everyone except Helga. This angered Gerald, but he was calmed down by Arnold when he assured him that he already saw Helga before the party and they said their goodbyes.

After Arnold's departure and as time went by, Gerald was informed that Helga has not been responding to any of Arnold's letters sent to her. Arnold would often remind Gerald and everyone else to see if they can speak to Helga and ask her to respond his letters. Despite this, Helga would still not respond back to his letters. Gerald eventually reached a boiling point and again walked up to the blonde girl and demanded to know why she would not respond to the letters of the one person that she supposedly 'loved'.

"Pataki, it has been two years and you still have not bothered to send Arnold one single damn letter. What is up with you? You said you love him, you said that he is means the world to you, and yet you do not have the decency to given send him a birthday card for his birthday?!" Gerald barked at Helga.

"Gerald please, Helga does have her reasons and I am sure she will eventually..." Phoebe started to respond in defence, but was abruptly cut off by Gerald.

"No Phoebe, stop defending Helga. If she is an 'independent' girl as she claims to be, then she can speak for herself." Gerald said, with a raised voice.

"Well well tall-hair boy, I did not know that you cared so much?" Hegla asked sarcastically, with a smirk on her face.

"Of course I care, about Arnold, not you. Now explain!" Gerald yelled back.

Helga, merely got up to face Gerald, crossed her arms around her chest and said, "What I do in my life and with Arnold is no one else' business but my own, got it tall-hair boy?" She said back with a warning tone. "I do not need to explain myself to you. You should just concentrate on your relationship with Phoebe and STOP and getting involved in other people's business. This includes Arnold's. Where ever Arnold is, I am sure that he is happy that I have not sent him a single _damned letter_, as you called it, because all it would contain is me continuously bothering him with verbal insults, as I did while he was here. I am doing him a favour. At least he no longer has to hear me call him football head."

Gerald simply looked at her in utter frustration and said, "You don't deserve him. You never did." and walked away.

Since then, they barely spoke to each other, with often Gerald not even acknowledging Helga with a 'hello' whenever he came by to see Phoebe if she was hanging out with her.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

As Rodrigo was talking to the gang, Helga was moving the last of the stacked up chairs close to the closet entrance.

"Finally!" she said. "I don't care what deal we made with the teacher, this amount of garbage is not acceptable and I am not going to spend my Friday evening to pick up on other people's mess."

As she was flexing her back, she heard Rodrigo and Gerald talking.

"Ugh crimeny did he get stuck talking to Gerald and those losers again? I swear this kid gets easily distracted and we still have to put away these chairs and I am not doing this on my own again." she said.

As Helga began to walk towards the corner, she suddenly stopped when she heard her name being mentioned.

"what the...Are they talking about me?" she asked herself.

_Well I did not think I was that popular_, she thought to herself jokingly.

All jokes aside, one of Helga's pet peeves was when people talked about her behind her, regardless if it was anything positive or negative. She was a straight up shooter and did not take kindly to anyone who spoke about her behind her back. Rodrigo, out of all people, knew this and for him to do that, either he has gone crazy or he was dead.

Although she really did not want to spend her Friday night stuck at school, her curiosity got the better of her and she slowly made her way towards the corner of the hallway so she can hear better.

_I might as well listen to what they are saying. At the very least, if they are saying bad about me, I can use it against them and give them a good beating tonight. After all, no one is here hehehe_, she thought to herself.

Meanwhile back at Rodrigo's locker...

"I'm not sure why you are so concerned about that Rodrigo." Gerald said. "She has you as a friend, she is getting better. So everything is working out. I do not see what the problem is."

"Gerald," Rodrigo began to ask him, "doesn't it bother you that someone like me was able to become friends with her within a short amount of time? I mean, all of you guys have been known Helga since you were 9 years old and none of you are close as I am with her. Doesn't that not bother you?"

If Gerald had to be completely honest with himself, he was a bit jealous and sad by this turn of events. Whatever Rodrigo did to make Helga like him, it worked like a charm. Yet with him, he tried many times and their relationship never improved. At the very least for Arnold and Phoebe's sake, he had really wanted to be friends with her, but try as he might, he was not successful. However, he was not going to admit this Rodrigo, not by a long shot.

"Not really." Gerald responded back, shrugging it off. "Look man, we tried to be friends but it did not work. Things don't always work the way you want them to and we just have to face facts."

"Besides," he continued as he crossed his arms onto his chest, "It's not as if Pataki is an angel herself."

"I happen to agree with Gerald on this Rodrigo." Rhonda suddenly intervened.

"I mean, we've all tried to be friends with her, and yes she did become part of the group after San Lorenzo. But she would always keep a distance between herself and us. It was like she had one foot in our group and the other was out."

"And it only got worse when Arnold left. She completely withdrew to herself." Rhonda continued, "I know that it was hard for her, but it has been years and until you came along, she made almost no effort to hang out with us. We had invited her many times to hang out with us and play sports, yet she rarely showed up. It look a lot of effort just to get her to say hello to us. It is as if she did not, or no longer wants to have anything to do with us."

"I can't help but think Rhonda, that perhaps Helga partly blames us." Nadine said.

"Blame you guys for what?" Rodrigo asked Nadine.

"Well, that we were able to move on after Arnold left but she was not able to. I mean, it hit us hard that he was leaving, but we managed to move on and deal with the loss. I just don't think Helga was able to do that and I think she resents us for that. On the one hand, out of jealousy that we, supposedly, had the strength to move on, but also on the other, that she may feel that we may have forgotten about him."

"On that note," Rhonda intervened again, "not once has Helga ever asked us how we felt when Arnold left. This was not an easy thing for anyone of us, especially Gerald. For me personally, it hit me hard, harder than I thought it would. At Arnold's farewell party, I had to hold back tears and only barely managed to reach home before I completely broke down and sobbed. Arnold was always there for us. Whenever we asked for his help, he would do so without hesitation. We were all kids back then and immature, but not Arnold. We could always count on him to talk to him about our issues and he would never blare them out to anyone else."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"So for me," Rhonda continued, trying to stay firm without showing her vulnerability, "it was not an easy transition. And I know it was worse for Helga, but she also made her own choice in isolating herself from us. The times when we approached her, to see how she was doing, she would often look at us ready to slice us in half. And I'm sorry if this sounds selfish Rodrigo, but there is only so much that we can do or take before we have to also start looking after ourselves. It is not always about Helga you know."

Meanwhile, back on the other side of the hallway...

_Leave it up to little Miss Princess to be all dramatic_, Helga thought angrily.

By this time Helga was starting to lose her cool. Had it not been for Rodrigo's and Dr. Bliss introduction to breathing techniques and ways to calm down, she would had already have lost it.

It was bad enough that they were badmouthing her, but now they had the nerve to think that they had Helga all figured out. That she was some poor helpless victim that needed help. That their feelings were more important than hers.

_They do not know anything about what I have gotten through_, she thought._ They do not know what it's like to finally have someone that you love, only for them to be taken away from you by circumstances outside of your control. How dare they!_

As her blood was starting to boiling, she could not help but think of one thing that was said and that she agreed. She was resentful of them. They were able to move on without Arnold within a span of a few months at least. For her, it was a nightmare. The many months it took for her to even have the mental strength to even ponder and acknowledge that there is life outside of Arnold. and yet even that, it was insufficient. She had to continuously move through life in a nihilistic fashion, a life without meaning, without purpose, without any creativity or motivation, a life without...an identity. Had it not been for Phoebe's aid, she would not have even made it that far, let alone entering high school.

Also, she was the only one that continuously believed that Arnold would one day return, while the rest of them lived their lives as if he was already dead.

Despite Helga's anger raising, she still managed to gather enough strength to hold herself back and continue listening in as Harold began to speak.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Rhonda is right Rodrigo! It was not an easy transition for any of us. And how often has Helga hit me or threaten me? She has a rotten temper"

Rodrigo simply rubbed his eyes in annoyance and said, "Harold, whenever I am there, every time you open your mouth to speak to Helga, you are either insulting her or teasing her about something, and she was not even talking to you. Half the time she was simply passing you by and you would start taunting her about something. Of course she is going to throw a tray on your face, I would!"

Rodrigo then leaned a forward and continued half jokingly, but maintaining a serious tone, "Is it any wonder why Patty does not stick up for you whenever Helga hits you? She knows that you deserve it, otherwise she would have pummeled Helga by now. You don't just tease or taunt someone and not expect them to react that way? I thought that was the whole point of it?"

Some giggled ensued, while Harold was left standing to ponder about what Rodrigo had just said. After a short while, he finally spoke up,

"Well that's true. But she can also just tease me back or taunt me, or even make some of her sarcastic remarks at me. There are better options for her to react. I just think that reacting violently every time someone taunts or teases her is not a good way to express your anger at someone."

"And I am not the only one in this," he continued. "I have seen her react the same way at other kids, often out of nowhere or even making the slightest remark about her. I even saw a guy approach her just to tell her that she was pretty and all he got in return was a punch in his stomach. why couldn't she just accept the compliment or simply tell the guy to back off?"

At this time, the giggled stopped. Rodrigo was left speechless at Harold's remarks but finally spoke up,

"Well, I gotta admit, I can't fight you on that one." Rodrigo said confidently while acknowledging Harold's temporary wisdom.

"If I may interject on this," Phoebe spoke up. "but it seems to me that this has become a vicious cycle that has been occurring for quite some time now, years in fact."

Phoebe as a young teenager, still had her glasses on, but like Helga, had developed curves in all the right places. Yet she still dressed modestly, with a pitch of intellectual nerdiness. she wore blue jeans but was currently wearing a top with flowers on it, along with a zip-up sweater that was black.

"Between Helga and everyone, it seems that due to a lack of information and stubbornness on everyone's part, we have become embroiled in an never ending cycle of she said this, or he did that to her, or we did not do this to her etc. I believe that the proper way to end this cycle is for someone to break it, to end this charade to own up to their own mistakes, because ultimately, everyone is partly to blame here, including Helga."

Around the corner of the hallway...

_et tu, Phoebe?_ Helga thought sadly.

She could not help but feel a slight sense of pain to her heart when phoebe spoke. How was it that her best friend would turn against her? Why would she? Phoeber was always there her. Phoebe always stood by her side.

Then Helga thought, _perhaps that was it. Because she has always stood by my side, as a mere shadow, is why she is now drifting away..._

Back at Rodrigo's locker...

Gerald looked at Phoebe with both aweness and a slight irritation on his face. _Of course Phoebe would defend Helga, she usually did_. He thought.

"Well said Phoebe. So then why don't you enlighten us on what has been going with Pataki all this time? Or if not you Phoebe, then perhaps you Rodrigo?" Gerald asked.

Before Rodrigo could answer, Phoebe said, "Gerald, it is not my place to say. Trust me, I have been wanting to tell you, to tell everyone about what Helga has gone through and is still going through. You have no idea how much of a burden this has been. I want to make you understand her, I really do Gerald. But I cannot because it is not my story and because I promised that I would not. I am sure Rodrigo has also promised too."

Phoebe looked at Rodrigo for acknowledgement, which he did by simply nodding.

Phoebe's friendship with Helga had, thankfully, remained as strong as ever. Even with Rodrigo coming into Helga's life, Phoebe still remained her best friend, a position that Rodrigo made no attempt to usurp.

Yet both friends knew that their friendship has become somewhat distant, but not due to Phoebe's relationship with Gerald. Needless to say that looking after Helga when Arnold left took its toll on Phoebe, both mentally and Physically.

On the day Arnold left, Helga was devastated. Throughout most of that summer, Helga refused to leave her room, coming down only to eat or whenever her family needed something from her. Phoebe would come to her house whenever she could to see how she was doing. Helga would often sob on Phoebe's shoulders and would comfort her whenever she could, while Helga swore and yelled at the top of her lungs in anger at how fate always seems to be against her. Sometimes the pain would be so much that Phoebe would end up in tears, being only able to slightly help her, while doing nothing to ease her pain.

Whenever Phoebe was not able to talk to Helga in person, they would speak by phone. Sometime Helga would call her in the middle of the night and Phoebe would listen to her crying, telling her how much she misses him, how she had wished that she was more sweet and nice towards him. On many occasions, Phoebe often brought Helga some food, seeing as how little Miriam cooked and to ensure Helga would actually eat. She had seen that there were times when Helga would not eat a single meal all day.

Needless to say that summer was horrible for both friends. Right before their first day of high school started, Helga gained enough composure to realized just how exhausted Phoebe looked. She would sometimes fall asleep in Helga's room without warning, she developed bangs under eyes and her had difficulty concentrating in doing the simplest of tasks. Although Phoebe never informed Helga of this, she developed insomnia which only recently was now wearing off. Realizing her plight, Helga decided to measure into her own hands and slowly came out of her depression.

She instructed Phoebe to visit her less and to use her time to focus on herself. When Phoebe questioned her, Helga assured her that she was doing ok and she can look after herself now. Taking this opportunity, Phoebe used this time to get some much needed rest and sleep. She prepared herself for high school by gathering all of the necessary items and accessories, often taking Helga with her.

The Initially days of school were brutal for Helga, as she had always imagined that she would start high school with Arnold, together. Seeing as how that was not to be, she pressed forward, despite the pain. As the months rolled by, Helga required less and less of Phoebe's help, oh which she took to full use. She began to hang out Gerald and with everyone else more often. Slowly, Phoebe regain her own composure and happiness. Whenever Helga succumbed back to her depression or melancholia, Phoebe realized that she was not officially out yet and would sometimes make excuses as to why she could not see or talk to Helga. Although Phoebe would always provide verbal support during those times when she was 'unavailable', it dawned on Helga that Phoebe simply was no longer able to help her. She had reached her limit.

Helga could not blame Phoebe. She has already done so much for her. She helped her without so much as a complaint. She took it like a champ. Heck, if it was not her, Helga would have probably have started cutting herself or worse. She owed her life to Phoebe's intervention. Now, Helga realized that the least she could do for her was to give her some space and enjoy life, even if she was not able to. After all, this was her problem, not Phoebe's.

"Phoebe, if it's not you, or Rodrigo, then who should take this first step?" asked Sid.

"Anyone brave enough to do it" Rodrigo responded. "In the end, it does not matter who breaks it, so long as it is broken."

"Gosh Rod, you make it sound so simple" Stinky said. "Gerald has already tried to reach out to Helga, many times, but all Helga has ever done was to threaten him, right fellers?"

everyone nodded in agreement.

On this, Rodrigo knew that he could not defend Helga and said nothing.

"You know, I called Helga on that summer, when Arnold left." Gerald explained.

Surprised, Phoebe asked, "You did Gerald?"

Gerald simply nodded and continued on, "About a month after Arnold left, I realized that Helga was nowhere to be found, and you Phoebe were not giving me a lot of info and so out of concern, I called her to see how she was doing. She never answered her cell and never called me back. I never told you about this Phoebe because I did not want you to upset Helga any further by asking her to call me, so I just dropped it."

Apart from Helga, the other person who was most heavily hit by Arnold's departure was Gerald. For a while, he was not able to walk around the neighbour without being reminded of his best friend. At some time, he even stopped going outside, or attended any sport games. He felt not empty, but alone. He and would Arnold would always meet up to play games, go on adventures, do their homework, or try to work out a problem they were facing. When Arnold was around, there always seems something fun to do, something that made life meaningful. Now with him being gone, there was all this time to do things, but do what and with whom? For the first time in his life, he not only felt that he had too much time on his hands, but that it overwhelming him. Freedom was now a burden, a most terrifying burden. But it wasn't just time, but it was also thing sense of being alone, of being by himself. Time made him alone.

Realizing that he had to do something, he started calling everyone else to meet up and continue on with their lives. At first it was hard, seeing as how everyone missed Arnold, but slowly people started coming together to play games, to do things that made them happy again, even if Arnold was not there to share in the fun. Gerald even called Helga a few times to invite to play games or other activities, but again she never answered. Gerald realized early on that had it not been for everyone supporting each other, he was sure that he would have sunk into depression.

"So it seems to me then fellers, that perhaps the person that should break this cycle should be Helga." Stinky continued on. "As Rhonda said, we tried many times to get in contact with her, to talk her, but still norhing. It seems that she does not need help."

Back on the other side of the hallway...

Helga continued to listen to their conversation. Each time she anger would raise, ready to explode, but each other she would gather enough reason to calm herself down and listen on. There was also another reason for why Helga wanted to continue to listen.

_hmmm, I remember tall-hair day calling me a few times to come out during that summer, but I thought he was just pulling some stupid prank or was only calling me because Arnold had asked him to. I did not imagine that he call me because he was genuinely concerned about me._ Helga thought.

she confirmed with what Rhonda said that they did try to approach her to talk or to be part of the group, but each time she rebuffed them. Helga had always thought they were doing it for Arnold's sake, not because they themselves wanted to or because they were actually concerned about her. It did not occur to Helga until now that perhaps they had actually wanted to hang out with her.

Despite these thoughts, she pushed them aside so as to continue listening. It seemed that Rodrigo was about to say something.

_Let's see what Latino Boy has to say about this_. She thought with a little smirk on her face.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Rodrigo was backed into a corner, metaphorically speaking. He could not argue against this, as he already knew about Helga's behaviour before his arrival to Hilwood High. Also, he was not going to argue against this, as he did not condone her behaviour, but he saw a potential flaw in their argument.

"True. I know you guys have attempted to reach out to her in the past. And I know that most of the time, she rebuffed you. But let me ask you this, why do you guys think she kept on rebuffing you?"

The group was silent for a moment, until Sid finally responded, "Well, I guess it is because perhaps that she does not trust us?"

"And why do you think she doesn't trust you?" Rodrigo asked.

After a long pause, Harold responded, "Well I guess it may have something to do with all the times that we made fun of her? When we were kids, I know that on some occasions we excluded Helga from some of our games because she was a girl."

"When have you guys made fun of her?" Rodrigo asked.

"Well, I sometimes have made comments about the way she looks and dresses. Those comments were not very positive." Rhonda confessed sheepishly, but then she continued, "But we were just kids back then. We joked around a lot and it is not like Helga has ever said anything nice to us."

"Then answer me this Rhonda, how do you feel about it now, of all the times Helga said mean things to you, how does it make you feel?" Rodrigo asked.

"Honestly Rodrigo, it may have been hurtful back then, but I never took it to heart, so for me now, it does not bother me. I do not let it get back to me." Rhonda responded.

"Same here Rodrigo." said Sid. "She did say mean things to us back then, but to us, they were just words so we did not let them get to us."

"You guys might not have let such words get to you, but that does not mean that other people would also not. For some people, words can be more hurtful than physical pain." Rodrigo countered back.

"And," he continued, "Often would Helga say mean or infuriating things to you guys in general?"

"Well, not that much really." Sheena responded. After some further thought, she continued, "So long as you did not get in her way, she would usually leave you alone. If anything I we may have said more hurtful things to her than vise-versa."

There was a deafening silence after Sheena spoke, confirming what Rodrigo had already suspected of them. They were not bad people, but simply biased.

Rodrigo then looked at Gerald and asked him, "And you Gerald?"

Gerald simply looked at him and said while shrugging his shoulders, "Other than what Harold and Rhonda said, I cannot think of anything else."

Rodrigo, confidently smiled a bit and confessed, "I can you a little something Gerald about what you have said to Helga and Arnold in the past. It may seem not so harmful initially, but if you think about it, it can be very hurtful and if it came from you Gerald, Arnold's best friend, it was a knife to Helga's heart."

After a brief pause, Rodrigo continued, "That you Gerald, to this day, are not able to understand just how Arnold ended up loving someone like Helga. Even worse, you still cannot grasp how Phoebe and myself, despite being friends, are able to be friends someone like Helga. How do think that makes her feel, knowing that her boyfriend's best friend only continues to see her aggression and toughness? That beneath it all, can be actually something quite sweet and loving?"

Gerald was astounded by what Rodrigo had just said. Trying to maintain his composure and his position, "What? You make it sound like that you and Phoebe are merely victims of Helga's aggression."

"Exactly!" cried Rodrigo. "You just confirmed your own bias Gerald. Do you really think that I would be able to become friends with Helga if she really was only this aggressive, tough, violent person that you claim her to be? Heck No! What about Phoebe or Arnold? They are both highly intelligent people. There is no way that either of them would defend Helga unless there was actually something about her that is worth defending."

"If she really was only that, just this angry, tough person, and nothing else, I would have not have been her friend and neither would have Phoebe. We keep coming back to Helga and have remained friends not because we are scared of her, or because she is a useful utility, but because she has shown us, in her own way, that she cares. It may not be the stereotypical way that women usually do or show that they care about someone, but it is nevertheless a demonstration that she cares about people. It is just different, but just as effective."

Sid was about to say something but Rodrigo quickly stopped him. "Hold on Sid, let me continue with this. And that is what makes her unique, that how she shows her emotions and the way she cares about people is uniquely different. Rhonda, did it ever occur to you that perhaps the reason why she calls you Princess, or Lila, why she calls you Little Miss Perfect, or you Gerald Tall-hair boy, is not really to insult you, but to show just how much you mean to her as friends? For some people, a good nab on the shoulder can be just as good as a hug. It is just how people express themselves, in their own way."

"Gerald, guys, I think the reason why your attempts to approach her failed was not to due to lack of trying on your part, as much as your biased view of her. The way I see it, it makes little sense for a person to try to reconcile with someone unless their own biased views changes first. In other words, despite your attempts being genuine, you guys were only putting tape on a wound without properly assessing your views about her. She didn't trust you because the way you guys saw her has not changed. She wants to show her other sweet side, she wants to show that she cares, but her own way. Unfortunately you guys have not been letting her do that. If anything, you guys act that as if there is something wrong with her, something about her that deserves to be only mocked, so of course she is going to rebuff your attempts to integrate her into the group because you want to do it in your own way, not hers."

Rodrigo breathed in a long breath and then turned to Sid, "Sorry Sid, I am done. You were going to say something?"

Sid merely looked at Rodrigo and simply said, "No."

The Group fell silent. It did not occur to them, other than perhaps Phoebe and Lila, that their own views about Helga were perhaps wrong. Could they have wrong all this time? Yes. Look at what Helga did for Arnold at San Lorenzo. She organized the group to help win that contest in order for them to go to the country and find his parents. Sure they were kidnapped by a sadistic and greedy pirate, Lasombra, and sure they almost got killed, but they survived and that was not Helga's fault. And look at Phoebe, despite sometime being taken advantage of, Phoebe still stuck by Helga's side because Helga has demonstrated to her time and again that Helga treasures their friendship.

Phoebe had previously explained to everyone how she and Helga became friends. At pre-school, Harold and Stinky were bothering Phoebe, who was trying to build a block tower. Helga saw this and scared both boys away and offered to protect Phoebe from any further bullying. Phoebe accepted and offered Helga helpful and smart advice. It was an unlikely alliance, but one that developed into a powerful friendship that had endured through live's challenges.

Helga had her faults, this was true, but now the group realize that they too have their own faults.

Meanwhile, back on the other side of the hallway...

Helga also stood there, astonished, slowly coming to terms by what Rodrigo had just said and the way the group fell silent.

She did not know what to say. What was there to say? Despite having Arnold and Phoebe, none of them have defended her as aggressively as Rodrigo had just done. They would sometimes shy away from any further arguments with their friends, or sometimes be trapped by the same friends' own logic. Although she appreciated their attempts at defending her, with Rodrigo, it was different.

He had only been friends for only some months but already Helga felt a strong bond with him, a bond she had not experienced since...Arnold. It was not any form of romantic love, no. But if she had to be honest with herself, Rodrigo was the first guy since Arnold to fully appreciate her as she is. Rarely did Rodrigo ever criticize her behaviour and when he did, it was often during extreme times and such criticism often felt as constructive feedback, not that he was attacking her.

Whether it was by tickling her own ego, or that she can be friends with other people other than Phoebe and Arnold, Rodrigo's arrival into her life has been a blessing, although she had yet to tell them that. While Phoebe pulled her out of her depression, Rodrigo picked up where Phoebe left off and provided her with a sense of self worth and on having a meaningful life. Yes, she still missed Arnold , but she felt that she can go about her life with more ease.

_Thank you Rodrigo_, Helga thought, trying to stop from a tearing falling her face. Just then, he heard Rodrigo speak again.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

After a long silence, Rodrigo felt he had to speak up again

"Guys, despite what I said just now, I know that you also have good reasons for why things are the way they are. I'll admit, Helga is a difficult person to deal with sometimes, that's no secret. But I really think that is the best part about her. She is dead honest, she does not fooling around with words or praises. She likes something she will admit it. If she does not, she will move on. Her honesty is the best part about her... and yet, like everyone else, she needs help. Everyone needs help and Helga, despite her objections, is no exception."

Rodrigo continued on, "You guys are right about one thing. Unless Helga is also willing to come forward and change her views about you guys, then it makes little difference if you guys do the same. It takes two to tango. But unless someone is willing to start the dance, everyone is going to keep on falling."

By then, Helga has heard enough. It was time for her to say something. While fully appreciating what Rodrigo had said about her, she is still Helga Pataki and she will be damned if she let other people talk in her stead.

At that moment, while Rodrigo was still talking, Helga suddenly appeared, forcing everyone to gaze at her as she walked closer and closer towards them. she still contained her usual stern face while looking dead in the eyes at everyone.

Everyone froze, except Gerald who started to point behind Rodrigo's back. "uh Rodrigo?"

Just then, it finally occurred to Rodrigo that he completely forgot that Helga was around the corner, waiting for him to come back and help her with the chairs. Despite his skin colour being brown, he went white. He knew how much Helga hated for people talking behind her back.

Realizing his gross mistake, he simply said, "ah crap she is behind me, isn't she?"

Gerald simply nodded, with his eyes still wide.

Accepting his fate, whatever it was, he confidently turned around to face Helga. Clearly she did not look happy. She had her armed crossed and she was giving Rodrigo a stern and scowling face.

Rodrigo asked her, "Alright, how much of it did you hear?"

"I heard everything Rodrigo" Helga replied coldly.

Rodrigo was not afraid of her, but he was very nervous at this moment. He knows that Helga had her limits, even with her friends. Yet he knew he overstepped his boundaries and was willing to pay for it.

This was one of his traits and Helga and everyone appreciated about Rodrigo, his willingness to own up to his mistakes. While he can sometimes pass as a cocky person, whenever he realizes that he has overstepped his boundaries, he would make a quick effort to apologize to the person for any transgressions.

"Alright alright, let it out Helga, just try to make it not so painful." Rodrigo said to her. He quickly turned around to face the group and added with a smile, "It was nice knowing you guys." He then turned back to face Helga. The group remained frozen, unsure as to what Helga was going to do to him.

Suddenly, Helga's scowling face gave way to a genuine, sweet smile, letting her arms fall. Rodrigo saw the smile, but before he could say anything, Helga, rather softly, lunged herself towards Rodrigo, giving him a quick but sweet kiss on the lips and hugged him. Rodrigo, completed shocked by this, could do nothing but simply hug her back and pray.

The rest of the group were also stunned, unable to move. Did Helga just smile? Did she just kiss Rodrigo? What does that mean?

Gerald soon got out of his trance, his shock gave away towards anger and eventually cried out, "Pataki what gives?! It's bad enough that you almost gave us a heart attack when you appeared, but now you just kissed Rodrigo behind Arnold's back, just like that in front of us?! I will not have my best friend be toyed around like that!"

Undeterred by Gerald's ranting, Helga gently let go of Rodrigo, put her hand on his shoulder as an indicating that it was her turn to speak. Rodrigo, acknowledging this, moved further back to give Helga some room. her smile then dropped and became serious. Then finally she spoke...


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Arnold and I have broken up Gerald. As it stands, I am single." she said.

Again there was silence in the hallway. Arnold and Helga have never spoken to anyone about what their relationship status was going to be when Arnold left. Although Gerald had asked him about it, Arnold either never responded to his questions or would have vaguely said, "It's complicated." Eventually Gerald, as everyone else, assumed that Arnold and Helga continued their relationship as long-distance.

Helga continued on, rather sheepishly and sadly, "Well, it was in fact Arnold that broke up me...on his last day at Hilwood, before his farewell party."

The tension level in the hallway was very high and the silence was so much so that you could hear a pin drop. Never had Helga been this upfront about her personal life to anyone. Even Rodrigo did not know about this. Although he was suspicious that that might have been the case, he was not completely sure, and he never pressed Helga about it. He knew that she would eventually tell him about it, when she was ready.

Undeterred, Helga continued, recalling the memories while avoiding the emotional pain that came with it, "Arnold had informed us months prior that he was leaving Hilwood. Obviously I was very upset with this, but we had agreed that we would continue our relationship as long-distance and we would try to visit each other whenever possible. At the very least, I thought I had that much. But on his last day here, he wanted to speak to me about something, before the party. When we met up, I could tell that something was not right. He looked very sad. Initially, I thought that it was because he was going to miss everyone, but then he came forward and said he wanted to end things with me."

Helga took a deep breath and continued, "I asked why and his response was that it was not fair to me, that it was not fair that her boyfriend was so far away that I could only count the days when we can be together again. He knew that the distance was going to be very painful for me and he wanted me to continue living my life. He knew that as long as we remained a couple, I could not really let go of him and I would not be able to move on. He told me that the moving was permanent and there was no chance of him ever coming back, unless for visits. With his parents' new jobs, they would be moving around constantly and knowing me, I was going to be despise that."

Helga let out a soft laugh but continued, "I obviously begged him to reconsider and told him that I loved him and that I would go where ever he goes. But he knew that this new lifestyle was not for me. He knew that he it was going to only lead to further arguments, and possible breakups. Hahahaha I swear that football head is like some wise person. He read me like a book. It was not really the goodbye that we wanted. I got angry and started yelling at him, cursing him for ever coming into my life. What was the point? what was the point of him coming to my life only for him to leave me? I told him that I was the one that found his parents. His parents should be grateful for them in finding their son. Arnold said that they were and this was not a punishment, but I didn't listen. I started sobbing, gave him one last kiss, then left. That was the list time that I saw him. I never went to the farewell party but I could not bear for everyone to see me at the state that I was in and I especially could not bear to say goodbye to him again."

Helga tried desperately to hold back tears, but only one tear managed to slip by her, falling down her face. She continued on, "I miss him Gerald. I miss him every day, even to this say, I still miss him. Not a day goes by when I do not think about him."

Then with a rather firm voice, she looked firmly at Gerald and said, "And I don't think you know what's like; to finally be with that someone that you love, only for them to be ripped out from your arms under circumstances that you cannot control. I don't think you know what that feels, to know that your major support is now gone from under you. I not only lost Arnold, I lost myself, sense of worth, my identity, my life. Arnold, other than Phoebe, was the only thing that kept me sane. My own family do not acknowledge my existence, but Arnold did. He was the only one that saw any worth in me."

"I have always envied your relationship with Phoebe, Gerald." she said, as she looked at both Gerald and Phoebe with a sincere and warm smile. "You guys make it work so well, you rarely argue, you make it look like a relationship is easy to be in. And what's more, you are still with her. Although I do not put any blame on you for this, but I had to watch your relationship with phoebe flourish, while mine remained broken. It was not just envy, but also resentment, not towards you and Phoebe, but life. I only ever wanted one thing, and that was to be with Arnold, but now that is not to be, and I have to deal with that."

Gerald pondered strongly over this. Although he knew that Helga would be struggling with Arnold leaving, it did not occur to him that having her watch his relationship with Phoebe would be such a huge slap to her face, whether she remained in a long-distance relationship or not. Although he cannot blame himself for being with Phoebe, at the same time, he cannot but feel a little guilty for perhaps not being more considerate of what Helga was experiencing. How would he feel if it was the other way around, having to watch Arnold's relationship with Helga flourish, while his suffered? It was not his fault, and Helga does not blame him, yet he cannot simply pass this sense of guilt. Perhaps he should have done more...

"And Despite what you may believe," Helga continued, "I actually write to Arnold, every...single...day. I tell him about how things are going on with us, in my life, what I have been doing etc. Only...I never send them. I never could muster the strength to send them. I simply put them in a binder and lock them in my closet. I initially did not want to send letters to him because I was angry at him; for breaking up with me. But even after that fact, I still could not bear the strength to send it to him, not because of anger, but because of sadness and despair. That no matter how many letters I would send him, no matter how many times I tell him that I miss him and that I still love him, he is still there and I am here. I am still not with him. It is pointless. And I also do not want to burden him with my misery. I want him to be happy and it is better if he does not know what I have gone through."

By this time, nearly everyone were fighting back tears, including Helga. Never has Helga spoken this plainly about her emotions and her feelings. It was just as what Rodrigo said, tough yet sweet, durable yet vulnerable. This was the real Helga, a paradox..

Ignoring their red eyes, Helga continued on, "When Arnold left, I was a wreck. I could not leave my room for months. I rarely ate. Had it not been for Phoebe, I don't think I would be here talking to you. She pulled me out of this depression and self-harm episode that I was going through. It took months, but she helped me. But I also know that this took its toll on her. I could tell. That is why despite me being not being ready yet, I kind of pushed her away so she can leave her life and not burden her with mine. She did all she could and more, as any best friend would. I never got a chance to say thank you Phoebe for saving me; Thank you." Helga gave a warm smile towards her best friend.

Phoebe finally let a few tears drop to her face. She remembered the despair in Helga's eyes during that time. She was afraid of what she might do to herself. Although she would sometimes inform Gerald of her well-being, she never went into any details. Like Helga, Phoebe dealt with this alone. Despite her wanting to embrace, Phoebe could not dare to do so, as she knew Helga was not finished.

Then Helga said with a rather sarcastic tone and smile, "And as for that kiss that I gave Rodrigo a moment ago, it was not a romantic kiss." She turned towards Rodrigo, "Sorry Rodrigo." She gave him a smirk, a nug on his shoulder before turning around again to continue on, "It was a thank you kiss. To say that Rodrigo's arrival was a blessing for me is an understatement. He helped me realize that there was more to life than Arnold. That I could live a meaning life. I started taking extracurricular activities, initially in order to distract myself, but then Rodrigo showed me what these activities meant for me and very soon, I went there because I wanted to. I started taking dancing lessons at Rodrigo's recommendation because it allowed me to channel and express a lot of the anger and other emotions that I felt without taking it out on others."

"Before he came, for three years, I felt empty. I felt that I had nothing worth striving for. At times it was so bad that it was a struggle just to get out of bed. I know you guys tried to help me with this..bbuuttt you know my stubbornness and I did not listen. I did not want to listen, and I understand why you guys stopped believing in me, and I don't blame any of you for that. But Rodrigo was there, and yes like he said, I am a difficult person to deal with, but he pushed me, he believed in me that I could succeed. Apart from Phoebe and Arnold, he is one of the few that can deal with my difficult personality, so I thank him again for being here for me when I needed him."

Realizing that the group was not liking where this was going Helga quickly added, "Relax, I am not trying to making you guys feel bad. Quite the contrary...I am ummm... asking for your... forgiveness." she said sheepishly.

Helga looked up straight at everyone's eyes and said, " Princess here was right. I never did ask any of you how you guys felt when Arnold left. Apart because of my own situation, I never asked because I did not care to think how you guys felt, and because I did not think you guys would take it so hard. But you did and for that, I am...sorry for not being there. And Nadine was also right. You guys seemed to have fully recovered from this blow, while I was still struggle to cope with it. I was resentful that I, Helga Pataki was not able to come to terms with it, because I refused to. Unlike everyone else, I dealt with it alone, like I usually do. But that was my mistake. I should not have dealt with it alone."

Before anyone could respond, Helga started walking towards Gerald and said to him, "Tall-hair boy, we both have an unspoken agreement that we would be civil towards each other only for Arnold's and Phoebe's sake. But I think that's the problem. We have been forced into this charade for other people's needs, instead of putting our own needs first, our own wants. Well here is my offer, I WANT to be friends with you, not for Phoebe or Arnold's sake, but for our sake, especially mine. I need my friends at this moment and you guys are my friends, even if I never say it."

Helga inhaled deeply and let out a big sigh before continuing on, "Despite our animosity towards each other, and I know that you never liked me, I have always considered you as a friend, even if this friendship has always seemed distant."

Helga then extended her hand, waiting for Gerald to respond. While Gerald looked on in astonishment, that Helga was offering her friendship to him, after all these years, he was speechless. Yet It did not take him long to respond back by shaking Helga's hand in return.

"Ok. ok Pataki. Friends." Gerald simply said, while smiling.

Helga smiled back.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The second Helga and Gerald shook hands, everyone embraced each other in a group hug.

After a few seconds, Helga began to push people away and said, "Alright alright enough mushing for one night, sheeh!"

Everyone simply laughed it off, still hugging each other, one-on-one, with Rodrigo, extending his hand and slightly hugging Helga. She returned the gesture.

by now, it was 8pm. The gang helped Helga and Rodrigo put the chairs back into the closet, got out of the school and began to head home.

After saying their goodbyes, Helga and Rodrigo started walking together. After some silence, Rodrigo, with his hands behind his back, finally asked with a smirk on his face, "Soooo about the kiss? Why did you really kiss me? A hug would have sufficed."

Helga simply rolled her eyes. She was not really sure why she kissed him. Initially she thought she knew, but now, she was not sure. However, she was not going to let him have his snack and the whole kitchen all in one night.

"It was just as I said Latino boy, it was a thank you kiss, now drop it. You do not need to make a big deal about everything, you know."

Rodrigo simply smiled and responded back, "I'm proud of you tonight Pataki. I could not be more happier for you. Arnold would have been very proud of you as well."

Helga smiled back at him and said, "Thanks Rodrigo."

Rodrigo continued to smile back at Helga, until she finally said while scowling, "Crimeny, would you drop your smile or do I have to drop it for you? I know why you are smiling about and the answer is still the same."

Rodrigo continued to smile and said, "Whatever you say Helga."

* * *

**Thanks everyone for reading this. If you haven't already, please check out the prequel to this story, called Helga's Transference.**


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